A Dead Wish and Her Death Wish

She knew it was the last time, her only chance. She knew she had to do it. She had done enough foolishness. She did not want to do worse. It had to end.

She composed herself, framed the right words. She heaved a deep breathe. She sat still and stared at that man across the room.

That man. Many asked her why him. He was not the type that settles down. He may not be even capable of any emotional attachment. Unfortunately, it was him. God knows the extent of things he can do for this man.

“Hey!” She waved at him and smiled. Tears brewed in her eyes. She could hardly breathe. She faked a laugh and cleared her throat. She did not know where to start. She was aware that he knows how she feels for him. Her heart throbbed heavily. Her head started spinning. She felt dizzy. What to ask?

She only needed to know one thing. “What did you feel about everything?” As if losing all her energy, she sank into the couch. She bit her lower lip and sighed silently as she waited for him to talk.

Silence.

“Nothing. I’m used to such attention,” he said with his deep monotonous voice.

She wanted to run away, shout, curse, and weep. She felt her confidence and self-value shrank below ground zero. She closed her eyes. She anticipated for that response, but it still struck and cut her heart deep. 

She was not sad. She was just disappointed. “He could have at least framed the words properly,” she said to herself silently. Then, she covered her face with a trilby and silently wished to die.