Twenty Third

It is believed that the flower that the butterfly loves once grew here. 

In the branch of a tree silently clings

The silent pupa meek and well-disposed

Waiting for the perfect time

To see the world and learn to fly

Then she turned to a lovely butterfly

She flew from flower to flower

Enjoying the bounty of nature

The happiness of life

Then the butterfly loved

She saw no other flower but the one

She loved the flower more than anything

And so she stayed close to the flower

But autumn came

The petals she loves now falls to the ground

And pieces of her sinks deep with the petals

But she still loves the flower

The butterfly has to flew away

Leaving the flower she loves

Keeping the scar in her heart

Yet she still loves the flower

Even if it has been gone. 

More Than Words

You told me you are not good with words

That you could not tell me how much you love me

That you could not frame the right words for me

In the absence of words, your heart speaks

In those few words you utter

In those little acts you show me

Your love cannot be contained with anything

And baby, I love you for that

I love you when you smile at me

You glow like a sunshine

That promises hope and happiness.

I love you when you stare at me

Your stares penetrate to the deepest of my heart

It tells me things only my heart could fathom.

I love you when you hold my hand

The strength of your grip

Tells me not to let you go.

I love you when you hug me close

The gentle touch caresses my soul

And gives me the assurance

Of not being left behind and alone.

I love you when you sing songs to me

It is as if you sing the words

That your mouth cannot directly tell me

Above all these things,

There is one thing that makes my heart melt

I love you when you say those words

I could feel your heart

In that stare

In that smile

As you say, “I love you.”

I love you, baby

More than these words can let you know

And I will never get tired of loving you

Hey, I'm Moving On!

After several nights, no, months, of pining for a love that could never be returned, I finally decided to move on. I had to let go from this silliness. I realized that I was wasting my life holding on to something and someone who could not even dare to care. I had cried enough tears and suffered unnecessary depression.

I give up. This is not worth fighting for. This is going nowhere. I am tired. Everything has to stop.

But…

Where do I start—when all I could see is him and all the little things I know about him? 

To Say Goodbye

How can I say goodbye to you? To the times we never had? To the moments I wish we had? To the friendship that I wanted to bloom?

We are never friends. We never had that friendship bond. The times that I had with you were those that involved seeing each other in office. Even if we barely speak to each other, I silently liked you. I silently wished that someday you would open up to me and later on be close with each other. But it never happened. You left.

Although you were not gone, I could no more see you every day. It may sound foolish but I considered you as one thing that could make me smile. Your presence, it was overwhelming. Your jokes, though never funny, would tickle me and make laugh endlessly. Your simple act of kindness, those little things made me fall for you. You inspired and influenced me in many things.

Months passed, but I remained in the abyss of my feelings for you. I was groping hard to recover, to move on. But fate should have been toying with me. No matter what happened and no matter what you said during that Sunday night, my feelings remained stubborn.

Then I knew that you were finally leaving. This time, I knew I would never see you again. No more professional communication. You will be gone. I wanted to ask you. I wanted to talk with you. I wanted to know your plans. But I couldn’t. I was not supposed to. I did not have the right. Who am I by the way?

I wanted to tell you how much I will miss you. I wanted to thank you for making me smile, though you are not aware of it. I wanted to hug you goodbye. I wanted to hold your hand and tell you not to leave. I wanted to leave you a message wishing you a good luck. How bad I wanted to see your face as you leave the only world that connected the two of us. I just wanted to see you for the last time and finally say goodbye to you and to my feelings towards you. But I could not. I could not even at least pretend to act normal and ask you. I just could not. I would dare not.

As you go on with your life and I struggle with mine, I hope that soon I will see you. By that time, I hope that you have achieved the dreams you have and have lived a life that you wanted. I wanted to see that sincere smile on your face, which I only saw when you were drunk last April. I hope that during the second time that we meet, I would be over you, and that it would be a new chapter in my life. And if you ever come back sooner, please remember that I would be here waiting for you. You will always have a special spot in my mind and heart.

But goodbye.